This Little Game
by CharlotteBlackwood
Summary: Nova Carmichael knew better now. She knew his little game. Sirius Black knew just what to say to just the right girls to get whatever he wanted. But this time, he had gone too far and Nova was more than ready to air the rules of his game. They all thought Mary's death was a casualty of war. If they only knew... SB/OC, RL/OC. M
1. This Little Game

**A/N: Another Sirius/OC! Sort of. It's also Remus/OC. This is complicated, based on song lyrics I wrote back when I was doing music. I'll include lyrics at the beginning of every chapter, and then when I've finished the references for one song, I'll include the full set of lyrics as an addendum to the last chapter in which they're included. If you liked **_**Gabriella McPeak**_**, you'll probably like this. It's the same rough idea.**

** -C**

_Maybe it seems easy._

_Maybe the victims of rape seem easy._

_Maybe they'll all eventually become_

_Your little whores, an easy target._

Nova had been walking back to her mother's place in London from the pub she helped at in the summers. Barely sixteen years old, she had learned to defend herself. She knew who to trust, who to avoid, and when to scream for help. It wasn't the nicest of walks, but the cool evening air of August made her feel refreshed and relaxed.

"Nova!"

The voice belonged to a regular at the pub, a Muggle she had known for a while who lived a few streets over from her mother's place.

"Chad. What's up?"

"Isn't it a bit late to be walking home alone?"

Nova smiled at Chad. He wasn't especially handsome, but he had confidence that Nova knew many birds found attractive. He hardly ever left the pub alone, even if he came in not knowing a soul. But because he had lived so close, Nova had known him since she was a little girl. She didn't find him attractive, but rather comfortable, familiar.

"I can handle myself. What happened to the bird you left with?"

Chad just shrugged. Nova didn't know what that meant, but she supposed the girl ended up being more boring than he'd expected.

She tucked a bit of sandy brown hair behind her ear. Chad was the only Muggle she knew who knew her actual age. She'd make false documents to get the job at the pub a year back, and she looked old for her age. He walked with her some of the way back and then she paused, adjusting her scarf.

"Isn't it a bit warm for that thing?" Chad asked, smirking as he touched the scarf, playing with it like a child might. "It's summer."

"It cools off a lot at night, in my defense."

She hadn't expected his expression to suddenly change when he pulled the scarf tightly, uncomfortably around her neck. Nova tried to pull away, but she merely choked. Her heart was racing as he steered her into a small nook between two houses. It was a quiet neighborhood, but the sort where no one would come running to help her if she screamed. Not that she could scream with her scarf so tightly pulled around her throat.

"If you don't struggle, I won't hurt you," he said, his breath tickling her ear. It was hot and uncomfortable, and she could feel his hands loosening the hold on her scarf. Screaming wasn't an option, but perhaps if she could reach her wand?

Chad had a hand around her wrist quickly, however, and was pulling it down to his zipper.

"Be a good girl and take care of me, will you, pet?"

Nova wasn't an idiot. She'd lived in the neighborhood long enough to know that screaming would get her a knife to the throat if she was lucky, and doing anything but complying would mean they probably wouldn't find the body for a decade or so. Per Chad's instructions, she played nice, fighting back tears as she tried not to think about her little sister waiting up for her at home. Katie Ann would be worried, even if their mother was too hyped up on Valium to notice. Nova let Chad have his way. She didn't claw, didn't bite, didn't struggle at all. She closed her eyes and tried not to make a sound, tried to imagine herself somewhere else, doing something else. She pictured herself back at school, at Hogwarts, watching a Quidditch match and filled with joy at her team winning.

But trying to imagine herself full of joy in that moment was proving incredibly difficult.

When Chad was done with her, he gave her wrists one last squeeze and said, "Don't bother talking."

And then he left her there in the alleyway, leaning against the brick wall of a house, catching her breath, righting her clothes, and fighting the urge to slide to the ground and cry. She had to get home, and get home soon to let Katie Ann know that she was all right.

Just two more streets and Nova was unlocking the front door, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Her younger sister was looking at her with concern.

"What took so long? Have you been crying?"

"M'fine, dove," Nova muttered, hoping her eyes weren't too red. She didn't remember crying, but she wasn't surprised that it had happened. "Just had a late night is all. And the wind picked up around Maple, you know. I got something in my eye. But it's all good. Mum's sleeping?"

"When isn't she?" Katie Ann said bitterly. "Has Dad moved in at that new place yet?"

"He's taking us on Christmas holiday, moving all our stuff," Nova yawned. She was eager to shower. "I think I'm going to get the grime off me and go to bed. Sleep tight, dove."

Nova walked past her sister without a glance backward, and although she tried and tried to scrub the feel of Chad of her skin that night in the shower, she couldn't get rid of it no matter how hot she turned the water. She walked out of a second shower the following morning, skin pink from scalding, and she called Joe at the pub. She was sick, she told him, and since she was going back to school in not too long….

She never went back to that pub again, and did not leave the house without Katie Ann until they left for school.

Going off the deep end wasn't really the right way of explaining it, but it was closer than anything else Nova could think of, and as she sat in the smoky dormitory the Marauders sometimes held private parties in, firewhiskey in one hand and a joint in the other, she wondered why she hadn't done this before. Part of it was that she had never been very close to the Marauders, especially Sirius, who planned the parties, but the rest of it was that she'd always cared so much about what people thought of her.

Now it didn't seem to matter what anyone thought of her, and she relished the ability to chase away the niggling numbness in her chest with the pleasures of parties. She handed off the joint to Peter Pettigrew and ran her free hand through her tangled blonde hair.

"Nova Carmichael," Sirius Black's voice said behind her, and she could almost hear him smirking. She didn't turn around. "Never figured you'd end up a regular."

Nova took a gulp of her firewhiskey, pretending to ignore him. She'd heard from someone in Ravenclaw that he hated being ignored. She wasn't able to find out, however, because he sat down beside her, touching her chin and leaning in.

"You're different."

That got her attention, and she turned toward him. His eyes were very interesting this close, with strange flecks of green in the gray, right near the irises.

"How d'you mean?"

"I mean you're not like you were last year," he muttered, letting his fingertips trace her skin down toward her chin. His touch was soothing and exciting all at once, and she didn't even notice herself lean in slightly. "Something happened to you over the summer."

Her mind flashed to Chad and she almost pulled away, but Sirius touched her neck, calming her once more.

"I don't expect you to tell me," he said, his voice husky and soft and right in her ear in a way that made her head fuzzy. "You don't have to say anything you don't want to. But I think you're beautiful when you're sad."

Those words were strange, and perhaps the strangest of them that the word "beautiful" had come from the lips of Sirius Black. It wasn't the sort of compliment she would have expected him to use. Before she could think more on his words, though, his lips stole her attention.

Nova liked the feel of his lips on hers, and even sort of liked the way he took complete control of the kiss, that first night and all the nights after.

A year and a half. They were together for a year and a half, and Nova felt like she was on a high every time she was with him, and even fancied herself in love at one point.

Sirius was a good sort of boyfriend, sometimes. But when he wasn't a good sort of boyfriend, he was absolutely rubbish. He forgot her birthday. He forgot their anniversary (Halloween), and he forgot to buy her things on every gift-giving holiday there was. Sure, the kissing and touching were excellent, but Nova had barely let him snog her with clothes beginning to come off when she was starting to get a bit fed up with him. The Marauders were a tight-knit group, she knew, but he barely managed to make any time for her, and she knew he wasn't spending all that time studying.

That was when Nova began looking into Sirius. She was a very resourceful girl, and she happened to know how to poke at people who knew things and felt guilty. And Remus Lupin knew quite a lot of things, and the more Nova poked at him, the guiltier he acted.

"Nova, you know I can't talk to you about Sirius," he told her one day, wearily. "If you want to know all these things about him, why don't you ask him yourself?"

"Because," she said, moving a bit closer, watching his ears turn pink. He was getting nervous. "Look me in the eye, right now, Remus, and tell me that Sirius hasn't lied to me, and that he won't lie to me if I ask him about it."

Remus had looked her in the eye as requested, and he tried to hold his ground, but even as he opened his mouth it began to twitch and twist a the strain of the lies, and he sighed, looking away from her, rubbing his temples.

"I promised I would stay out of it, Nova."

"Do the noble thing, Remus. If I need to get out of this relationship, I'd rather you just tell me everything so I can get over it sooner and move on with my life."

He chewed on his lip for a bit, but eventually he did cave, and he told her everything. Nova had half a mind to beg him to stop telling her after a bit, it was just too much to take at once. He actually held her while she cried, but he continued to tell her, because once she got him talking, he couldn't seem to shut up. Perhaps he thought it was kinder, letting her know the whole truth at once. Perhaps he thought she would take it all better this way, knowing everything at once. Perhaps he thought he was honoring her wishes.

"I'm so sorry," Remus whispered, hugging her tight to his chest. "It's his family, you know. He tries and tries to rebel but things like that leave a mark on you. It's his mother, really."

Nova wasn't listening to his words anymore. She was listening to the steady beating of Remus's heart as rested her head against his chest, wiping her eyes, plotting her revenge. But from what she had heard, even Remus didn't know everything, and if she was going to make Sirius regret hurting her, she would need to find out everything somehow….

She would have to do something very illegal.

Thankfully, there was enough time to wipe away her tears before he came to, groaning, blinking up at her, his gray eyes clear of the potion. She tapped her fingers on his bedside table absently.

"I can't believe you did that to Mary," Nova whispered. "And not even James knows about it. What kind of sick person are you?"

Sirius sat up quickly, eyes wide.

"What?"

"You just told me what you did, what actually happened to Mary MacDonald," Nova said harshly.

His eyes searched her face, his own skin going dangerously pale.

"What did you do?" he demanded. She nodded to the vial next to him, next to his firewhiskey. He frowned, sniffing it gingerly. She knew he would smell nothing. The clear liquid was odorless. "That's illegal," he said softly.

"I had to get the truth somehow," she said darkly. "And I knew you weren't giving it to me any other way."

He looked up at her with pained eyes. At least she had managed to keep Remus out of it, to absolve him of all he'd told her. Now she wouldn't be responsible for ruining their friendship. It would be a poor way to repay him for his help.

Sirius groaned, sitting up, squinting at her. It seemed to Nova in that moment that the beauty she had once seen in him was gone, and she wondered if it had ever been there at all. He leaned in a bit closer, hand outstretched, but she backed away and he sighed, moving the hand instead to run his fingers through his hair.

"I would say I'm sorry-"

"But you're not," Nova said dully. She was horrified at the flatness in her voice. How could she be so calm, so unaffected by this? She ought to be holding a knife to his throat.

Sirius groaned, rubbing the heel of his hand into his eyebrow viciously.

"Nova, I wish…. I do wish that this hadn't happened."

Well, that was obvious. Nova could have handled the cheating. She would have been devastated, but it wasn't the cheating that really got to her. The way he went about it all, the girls he chose, how he destroyed them…. And Mary.

Nova now had all his secrets in her hands, things even his best friends didn't know, things that could ruin him forever, possibly even land him in prison.

"The question becomes," she said softly, still trying to decide exactly how to proceed. She wished the potion had lasted longer. "Where do we go from here? Because we can't stay together."

Sirius looked at her with a stricken look she hadn't expected, although perhaps she should have.

"Nova, I love you," he said softly, earnestly.

"I know," she said, feeling her throat tighten around the words. He'd said that under the influence of the potion. He'd said it over, and over, and over, and it had made her feel sick and pained and her eyes had filled with tears she'd been unable to control. She could already feel them coming on. "But it's not enough."

She hated how much it hurt to watch his face change, twist, fall. Everything would have been so much easier if he'd been indifferent to her, or if he only cared about her as much as the next girl, but he loved her and she knew he wasn't lying about it. He couldn't have lied if he'd wanted to. In spite of herself, she loved him a bit as well, but how could she stay with him, knowing what he had done, knowing what he was?

"So what do we do?" Sirius asked, his voice tight and full of pain that Nova wished he couldn't feel. Part of her wanted to hurt him, but to have him be hurt over something like this wasn't right. He was not suffering from remorse, but rather from the loss of her love. Except she still loved him. But he didn't need to know that.

"They need to know," Nova said softly.

"Nova, please."

"How can you hurt people like that?" she asked, turning to look at him again. She wished she hadn't, because his eyes were drawing her in. Nova's nose flared as she tried to force herself to say what needed to be said. "They're going to find out eventually."

"Most of them don't," he admitted, smiling sort of sheepishly. "Look, Nova, I can understand if you…. Well, I guess I don't really understand because I love you and it's a bit blinding, but I realize you don't want to…you don't want to be with me anymore. But can we just keep all of this…between us? That's where it belongs, isn't it?"

He was wrong. That wasn't where it belonged. The world deserved to know.

But Nova decided that earning Sirius's trust for now wouldn't hurt, that biding her time and looking for a way to help the girls he was hurting quietly, privately, would be better for them in the long run, and then she could expose him. Besides, she couldn't expose him right away, couldn't bare his guilt on the spot. For one thing, her pride wouldn't allow her own image to be pulled in with his taint. It wasn't that she had her sights on anything in particular, but she wanted to feel clean when she did.

More importantly, she wasn't sure she could do a good job yet, not until she no longer felt that she loved him.

"So this is it?" he finally asked, reaching out to touch her hand. Without even thinking, Nova pulled her hand away, watching as his eyes filled with pain.

"Yes," she said firmly. "This is it. Between us. But we're done."

"I wish…."

"Don't," Nova said, getting up, frowning at him. "Don't lie to me, Sirius Black. I can put up with a lot, but I can't abide lies."

He just watched her, his face turning cold as they stared at each other. After a moment, she could no longer look at him, and she left him alone in his room, the burning of pain in his eyes burrowed in her soul.


	2. Whatever You Want

_Their self-image is low_

_Go on and say they're beautiful._

_Say that they're sexy and they'll do_

_Whatever you, whatever you want._

Straightening her hair out, Nova looked at herself in the mirror. She'd gotten much better about how she looked at herself, how she thought about herself. On the best of days she actually thought she was rather pretty. But there were still bad days, still moments when she thought of throwing herself off the highest turret she could find, still mornings when she'd rather gouge out her own eyes than look at herself in a mirror.

Thankfully, this was not one of those days. She smoothed her skirt and hurried down to breakfast, where she helped herself to food, not looking around her.

Not much had changed, although she'd broken up with Sirius a long time ago. Everyone was still convinced that she was in good with him, and that they would either have to appeal to her for a boost with him, or that they had to…get her out of the way. Nova found it tiring, and part of the problem was that she was pretty sure Sirius was still in love with her. That had its uses, of course.

He was very nice to her, was totally honest with her, and confided in her about literally everything. The utter honesty was perhaps a ploy to win her back, but since all he was doing was putting more and more incriminating information in her hands Nova wasn't about to point out that it was hopeless, trying to win her over again. She simply lent a feigned-sympathetic ear to all his troubles and made mental notes on everything.

Not to mention, Sirius's approval came with a certain amount of protection. Nova didn't need protection, exactly, as she was very good at taking care of herself, but it was nice not to have to defend herself around every corner. The Marauders had their uses.

"Good morning," Lily said with a yawn as she sat across from Nova. "Remus was looking for you in the common room. I told him I hadn't seen you get up, so he's probably still looking."

Nova shrugged. She wasn't too bothered. Soon enough he would start to think she was at breakfast, or one of the other boys would get too hungry to wait and drag him down to the Great Hall. Lily raised her eyebrows as she put some kippers on her plate.

"You could be a little more sensitive, Nova," Lily said, not unkindly. "I know you think everyone should be as tough as you, but some people have a lot to go through."

It wasn't Lily's fault that Nova wanted to punch her pretty nose in at that moment. Lily didn't know of Nova's struggles, of everything she had gone through. Only Sirius and Remus knew, and she regretted ever telling either of them. Of course, Remus's struggles were more ongoing, but they really didn't have anything to do with her, at least, not as Nova saw it.

Nova didn't like to think of herself as a victim. She knew, somewhere inside of herself, that she was one technically, if she really thought about it. She had become a victim from the moment she'd been dragged unwillingly into an alleyway. But Nova didn't seen any good in thinking of herself that way. Surely it would lead to nothing but wallowing in self-pity and then everyone knowing what had happened. She didn't want that pity. She didn't want anyone to know.

Many things could have been said to Lily, but Nova couldn't think of any she could say without sounding like a bitch in her current frame of mind, so she shoved potatoes into her mouth instead.

"Good morning, ladies," James said smoothly, sitting down next to Nova. "Remus was looking for you, Carmichael."

"Noted," Nova chirped when she'd swallowed her potatoes.

"Lilyflower," James said with a grin, and Lily glanced up at the high table to make sure no teachers were looking before using her fork to flick potatoes at James's glasses. This made him beam all the brighter.

"Piss off, Potter," Lily groaned.

Despite how it might have seemed that morning, James and Lily had been dating for two months.

She must not have slept well, swearing at him and physically – essentially – pranking him. Nova knew that Lily understood that James found it excessively attractive when she did both of these things. Perhaps she was doing it on purpose.

"Have I ever told you that you're a vision of loveliness?" James cooed. "A creature of absolutely divine-"

"No one wants your crappy poetry, Prongs," Sirius grumbled, sitting on the other side of James. "Morning, Evans, Nova." He tipped some sausages onto his plate. "Remus is looking-"

"I know," Nova said, not sharply. Lily gave Nova a very significant look, but Nova had never learned to read her friend's significant looks. Was this one the one where she was not doing something she was supposed to do, or the one where she was doing something she wasn't supposed to do?

The issue could easily be that she wasn't being rude to Sirius, as Lily often thought Nova ought to be. Lily didn't approve of the fact that Nova and Sirius didn't behave how she thought exes should behave. She also didn't approve of the fact that Nova wasn't more attentive to Remus.

"Fine," she sighed, pushing away her half-touched plate. "I bequeath my kippers to James, since he's the only nice one here. I'll find Remus if it will make you all happy."

Sirius gave her a confused, hurt look, but she ignored him. He had no right to give her that look.

She ran into Remus halfway back to the common room, and he grinned at her with a tired grin, pulling her into a nearby classroom.

"You look beautiful this morning, Nova," he croaked.

Although they had dated for nearly four months, Nova still couldn't stand being around Remus right after a full moon. He made her feel guilty, like she was supposed to be suffering with him, when all she wanted was to be happy. Of course, she never said this to him. He was someone experiencing a constant and unhealthy state of guilt, so she smiled at him and touched his lined face.

"How was last night?" she asked.

It didn't look like a too bad one, from what she could see. Some months he came back looking like he'd experienced the grave itself. This month looked more like he'd had a bad head cold that kept him up all night.

"A couple of new scars on my back but nothing worse," he muttered, still smiling at her. "You look…so beautiful."

Nova would have rolled her eyes, but that would have been excessively rude.

Most days, Nova didn't mind dating Remus. She wouldn't have said she was in love with him or anything, but she really liked being around him right before the full moon when he was excessively domineering and hated being around him when he was just coming off the full moon: when he was excessively sweet.

Remus kissed the corner of her mouth, grinning against her skin.

What was it about men that they were so pleased with such simple interactions? The gesture ignited nothing in Nova, but she allowed him to kiss her back.

Remus was a wonderful boyfriend, attentive, caring, passively agreeable to everything she wanted and suggested. Lily, who was admittedly very happy with James, said frequently how lucky Nova was to finally be dating a guy who really treated her right.

Except Nova didn't feel lucky, nor did she think that this was "right." It didn't feel like right ought to feel, she thought. Still, Nova stayed with Remus, because she was moderately happy, and why would she make him unhappy when she wasn't?

"Sometimes," he said, pulling away from her to smile down at her, "I still can't believe how lucky I am."

Luck really had nothing to do with it. He had, completely innocently, asked her if she'd like to go to Hogsmeade, and she'd been unable to go. So he just kissed her on the spot, not thinking about the fact that it was her anniversary with her ex-boyfriend, not thinking of anything apparently, because when she asked him why he did it afterward he said it was because she looked sad and beautiful.

Because Nova hadn't minded Remus and hadn't minded his kissing her, she kissed him back. And the next thing she knew, they were dating. And it wasn't so bad, most days.

"Ugh, cut the sap, Remus," she sighed, pulling back and leaning against the stone wall of the classroom. He moved toward her, like they were attached somewhere by a cord and he could only get so far away from her before he had to follow. "You know I hate it when you're mushy."

She did care for Remus, even if in moments like this it was hard to remember it. He had been a dear friend to her before they'd started dating, and now he was a special sort of dear friend, the kind you snogged in empty corridors and told some of your secrets to. Perhaps she'd told him too many of her secrets in their early stages, and it was too late to take them back now, but she still enjoyed the snogging in the corridors, and even let him hold her hand sometimes.

"You didn't seem to mind when Sirius was mushy to you," he said, frowning slightly as though they didn't have this discussion every month.

Nova just looked at him. She was tired of reminding him that he wasn't really dating the same girl Sirius had. How could someone hear the things Sirius had said to her and still be the same afterwards? Just knowing that a boy like that had touched her made her feel dirty, and still sometimes when she was with Remus in some secluded part of the castle she caught herself wishing Sirius would touch her again.

And she didn't want to think of that in this moment, when Remus was looking at her with his tired face, making her feel pathetic.

"You should eat breakfast," Nova finally said in the most level voice she could summon. Remus's eyes flashed with a bit of hurt, but she knew he would get over it, and by the time a month had nearly passed he would be pushing her into secluded corners with a desperation she was always surprised to find that he possessed, snogging her like the world was ending. Nova wouldn't have thought of herself as sex-crazed or anything, but that was her favorite time of every month, when Remus seemed to really desire her, to need her, in a way that was almost purely physical. Perhaps there was something inherently pathetic about that as well, but she was tired of feeling pathetic, of thinking of herself in that way. It was too much for one morning.

"I had a bit in the hospital wing," he said vaguely.

She knew he'd only had a piece of toast and a few spoonfulls of porridge. He never had much of an appetite after the full moon. But if she was going to be his girlfriend, she had to give something back in their relationship, if only to feel better about herself. She had designated herself as the person to ensure that he took care of himself during the more difficult parts of the month, knowing that he wouldn't take care of himself properly, and she had a feeling that he enjoyed the fact that she mothered him a bit. She had a distinct feeling that he took even less care of himself, knowing that it would force her to do more in return. Nova didn't like the thought that he would do this, but she assuaged her discomfort by assuring herself that it was all subconscious on his part.

When they arrived at breakfast, Remus sat her down across from Sirius, and then sat beside her, his arm around her waist as she loaded up his plate. She bit back an exclamation of annoyance as he rested his chin on her shoulder. Nova didn't like all this affection so early in the morning, and she glanced up at Sirius, who seemed amused at her predicament.

It took everything she had, then not to lash out and hit them both. Particularly Sirius, who had absolutely no right to take amusement in her suffering. He had no right to have anything to do with her at all. He had no right to still have a claim on her the way he did, and it drove her mad. Someday she would manage to turn everything back on him, and the look on his face would make all this suffering worthwhile. But until then, it felt at times to be too unbearable to be worth it.

Lily was looking at her kippers with a sour expression, when she wasn't turning that expression on Nova and Sirius.

If anyone didn't understand what was going on with Sirius and Nova, it was Remus, but Lily was a close second. Lily didn't even have Remus's excellent excuse of jealousy to hold her over, but Nova tried to forgive Lily all the same. There was no reason Lily should be able to understand why Nova and Sirius were both so free and so awkward with each other all at once. Perhaps just after they broke up there was some sense in it, but after as long as they had been apart Nova imagined that it would be difficult for someone like Lily, someone sensible and rational, to understand.

"Nova," Sirius said, poking a little at one of the sausages on his plate, "I think we should talk about some stuff in our Ancient Runes spare."

Nova didn't want to talk about some stuff, knowing it would be something about sexual exploits and the complications of balancing many girls at once. But she needed to know. She needed to know everything, and she needed to let Sirius give her everything he was willing to give so she could file it away for later.

Perhaps he foolishly thought he would be impressed by all the details she was given about his exploits, that she would want him back with all she knew. The more she knew, though, the less she wanted him, so maybe it was good for her to sit and listen to him talk. Maybe it was therapeutic in some way, to be constantly reminded why she'd left him in the first place.

"Sure," she said, watching his sausage being stabbed instead of looking at his perfectly formed face. She wondered what it would be like to physically hurt him sometimes. Except the physical pain wouldn't last unless she did something very, very illegal like an Unforgivable, or a Dark curse. And Nova didn't think he was worth that sort of thing. Emotional pain would linger longer, hurt him more, and give her more long-term satisfaction, however temporarily satisfying it might be to stab him or curse him or even shove him off something especially tall.

Lily was giving Nova a knowing, disappointed look and Remus did tense slightly, but Remus knew she was not sleeping with Sirius in these talking sessions. He didn't know what she was doing and he didn't understand why Nova wanted to be around Sirius after what he'd done, but Remus did know that Nova despised Sirius for how he had treated her.

But then, Remus despised him a bit for the same reasons, and the two of them were still very close friends, so he really had no right to judge her.

"Nice weather today," James said, either thinking of Quidditch or trying to diffuse the ever-thickening tension at the table as Peter sat down on the other side of Sirius. Nova looked up, frowning a little, and then glanced over at Sirius, who was watching her with thoughtful eyes.

She hated his thoughtful eyes. They were his most attractive expression.

"Yes," Lily said, grasping at the straws James had tossed in the air. "Yes, it's beautiful out. Perhaps we should all go down to the lake this afternoon, after classes."

Nova had no desire to spend more time at the lake, but when her friends all agreed with this plan, she agreed to. It was better to be doing something she didn't really care for than to spend too much time alone with her thoughts. Besides, if she decided not to go then Remus would not go, and being stuck alone with an overly affectionate Remus was perhaps worse than being alone with her thoughts. Sirius continued to watch her.

It was taking too long, gathering all the information she needed. Despite the fact that she hated him more with every day, she also still felt that strong, familiar pull when he was around, and she wondered which urge she would give into before it drove her mad entirely.

Phase two, she decided as she turned back to shoveling food onto Remus's plate, was about to be implemented. It was the only safe and reasonable thing to do, for the sake of her sanity and for the sake of all the girls she had on her list.

But she ought to wait, she decided, watching Remus faithfully and loyally eat the food she'd put in front of him, until she'd had her chat with Sirius later that day. For all she knew, there were more names to add to the list, and more urgent things to deal with before she began phase two. It never hurt to be absolutely and positively sure of something. Thoroughness, as Nova had learned from Lily Evans a thousand times over, always paid off in the end, whether it was exams or revenge.

And Nova was looking very a very big payoff of the most just kind.


End file.
